A step in a different direction....

I have been thinking a lot about where I am in life, what I'm doing, what I want to be... You know thinking about my life in general.

I realized that I have a wonderful life. I am beyond blessed. I have a wonderful husband who supports me. God is working wonders in my life and I have a wonderful job.

The delima is I was given the opportunity to get licensed and get a job with Allstate. Its a chance at a career and a chance most people don't get handed to them. I am so grateful for my opportunity. My line for everyone was I just had a career handed to me, all I had to do was study and pass some tests.

All this sounds great except the word career. I have a great job and a great boss. However this is not my calling. I was not made to make sales. I have a passion, I have desires, I have dreams, and goals, and not a single one of these depends on me making sales, sitting in front of a computer all hours of the day and making phone calls. My dreams and passions are children.

I feel like the past few weeks God has been telling me to go into Children's Ministry. I have listened and answered his call and am in the process of going through the motions and hoops to be a Children's Director. For now the job is all volunteer, so I will continue to work at Allstate.

The next goal is to get back to school. I want to go to school and learn. I want to be a teacher, I want to influence as many young people as I can. So, as of now I am in the process of finding out what I need to do to get through school.

Please pray for me. I am so excited about all this. I don't even know what to do with myself I am so excited, but at the same time, I am absolutely terrified.

Trust and Obey

I am a 22 year old licensed sales producer for Allstate. I am a wife, a church member, an aunt and, hopefully soon, be a mom.

I am already so busy with everything that goes on in my life. I want to do more though. I want to be involved more in my church. I want to do more with my job.

How do you budget your time? I was never good at taking time to work on school, or balance friends and work. How do I start this.

Right now in my life I want to relax. A lot has gone on with me and there has been a lot of hurt since 2007. 4 years of confusion. 4 years of struggles. 4 years of not letting go and letting God be in control.

I am ready to let go of what I think is best for me and my life and I want to let God be in control of me completely. I was raised in a church, I know the Bible. I know all the right christian things to say. I was involved in church heavily when I was in 9-11th grade. I quit going to church and turned away from people who loved me because I felt as if Christianity was used as a weapon and as a tool instead of a way of life and a way to show God's love.

I want to make a stand again for who I am. I want to make a stand for what I believe a christian is.

However, I am scared. I have my husband out here and I have good friends who love me and support me. They know my thoughts, my heart, and my beliefs and they accept me. The problem is that they don't all believe the same things that I believe. My husband does, and I know one of my girl friends believes close to what I believe. But I am scared of rejection. I am scared of being so far away from my family and being ridiculed for practicing what I believe.

I have always believed in God, I've always had a relationship with him. But I also know that it says in John 15:18-19 " If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you."

I am scared of being "hated" and not loved. In return to the hate that I KNOW will come, I don't want to start to use the Bible and my "religion" as a weapon. Christ taught love. He turned the other cheek, He sacrificed for us. So what do I do from here?

I take a step of faith. I follow the will of God, even though I am scared. Even though I don't know where it will lead me. I follow and I obey.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11