I would give my right arm to be able to sleep right now. I am so stinkin tired. I don't ever sleep well. It is so frustrating to be utterly exhausted all the time.
Before I got married I could sleep. And then I lived with in laws... I was so annoyed all the time I hardly slept. Now that we are in our own apartment I am able to sleep a lot better but not as good as I used to. I wish I could go curl up in a little ball and sleep forever!!! Maybe someday I will be able to sleep all day again.
We have our room and the guest room/office. I have been sleeping in there lately so I wont keep Carlos up... I don't want to have to sleep in a different room. I have sleeping pills. I take Trazadone. The doctor said that they used to give it as an anti-depressant but they found it didn't help it just makes people sleep (it would have had to sucked to be horribly depressed then not be able to get out of bed... not because of your outlook on life but because of your anti-depressants) Anyways, I am supposed to take a max of 100 mg... I can take 200mg and it not even phase me... I have tried Melatonin... which is supposed to be a natural supplement... It doesn't work either.
I know that I can go get the more intense pills like Ambient or something but I have a very addictive personality and I don't want to get hooked on something. (I finally quit smoking... 39 days!!)
So what do I do to go to sleep??? I need ideas that have worked for other people so that I can get the rest I need.
Showing posts with label Home. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Home. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Monday, August 15, 2011
What is a Home?!?!?
The definition of home is the place where one lives. But is a home not much more than that?
When I was 20 my parent divorced. I was upset that my home was being destroyed. I got married shortly after their divorce was final. I was happy as could be getting married to Carlos. I moved from Pearland TX to Flagstaff AZ. I hated it here. I didn't know where I belonged. I knew I was supposed to be with my husband but I didn't have a home. Carlos and I lived with his parents. I was and still am grateful for them letting us live with them. But I was not at home. I felt lost there. I felt as if my privacy was always invaded. I would get off work and drive around town forever avoiding going to their house. I couldn't possibly go to a home where I didn't feel like I had a place.
This past weekend Carlos and I moved to a little apartment. Its small, its nothing great, but its home. This apartment is perfect. Its everything that I lost when my parents divorced. It is a HOME.
When I was little my dad always told me that outside these four walls of our home the world is mean it will tear you down and it will make you want to die, but inside these four walls we will love each other, we will encourage each other. We were like any other family, we fought, we yelled and screamed from time to time, but for the most part we were loving. I knew that no matter what happened in life that I was going to be OK. I was going to have a home... I would always have a place to be safe and to be who I am.
I lost that home when my parents divorced and I moved out to Flagstaff.
Now as of August 12th 2011 I have a home again.
In our home we are happy, we are loving. I am free to be who I want to be. I am free to be loud and crazy. I am free to be silent and write in my blog. I am free. To be free is a wonderful feeling and I love being free.
Home is more than the place you live. Home is where you are free, safe and loved! Home is our little apartment.
When I was 20 my parent divorced. I was upset that my home was being destroyed. I got married shortly after their divorce was final. I was happy as could be getting married to Carlos. I moved from Pearland TX to Flagstaff AZ. I hated it here. I didn't know where I belonged. I knew I was supposed to be with my husband but I didn't have a home. Carlos and I lived with his parents. I was and still am grateful for them letting us live with them. But I was not at home. I felt lost there. I felt as if my privacy was always invaded. I would get off work and drive around town forever avoiding going to their house. I couldn't possibly go to a home where I didn't feel like I had a place.
This past weekend Carlos and I moved to a little apartment. Its small, its nothing great, but its home. This apartment is perfect. Its everything that I lost when my parents divorced. It is a HOME.
When I was little my dad always told me that outside these four walls of our home the world is mean it will tear you down and it will make you want to die, but inside these four walls we will love each other, we will encourage each other. We were like any other family, we fought, we yelled and screamed from time to time, but for the most part we were loving. I knew that no matter what happened in life that I was going to be OK. I was going to have a home... I would always have a place to be safe and to be who I am.
I lost that home when my parents divorced and I moved out to Flagstaff.
Now as of August 12th 2011 I have a home again.
In our home we are happy, we are loving. I am free to be who I want to be. I am free to be loud and crazy. I am free to be silent and write in my blog. I am free. To be free is a wonderful feeling and I love being free.
Home is more than the place you live. Home is where you are free, safe and loved! Home is our little apartment.
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