My Life...

So I'm in a rough place in life... I don’t quite know what to do or how to do it... I feel lost... And the thing is I don’t even know why!!

I am overwhelmed... You see I am 22... Married to my best friend... but I hate where I am... I don’t hate my husband don’t get me wrong! I adore Carlos. He makes me happy and makes me laugh... But other than him I hate where I am. I am in need of change I need to make a life for myself and my husband and tell the rest of the world to get out of my way or go to Hell. But before I can start making my way I have to find what it is that I am meant to do!!! Now that’s where I am really stuck...

What in the #?*! do I do with my life... I don’t mind working and I love the job I have now. I work for an Insurance company and I sell insurance... But I want freedom... I want to be able to pack my things and leave... I want the life of a Gypsy... I want to travel here to there doing as a please and making a little money on the way; when I get tired of one place I will go to another. And I don’t want anyone to be able to tell me no.

If I'm not doing anything wrong or breaking any laws then I feel I should have the freedom to do as I damn well please.

But still I'm faced with a problem... My husband is in the Marine Corps and I can't just up and leave because of his commitment to the Marines... So now what? Maybe I don’t want to be a Gypsy... Maybe I want to just settle into a little place away from everyone and everything and make a life for Carlos and I away from it all.

But is it always good to run away from everything? Probably not. But you want to know a little secret??? I DONT CARE!!! You see I want to be happy and I will be happy one way or another... I just have to get away from the situation that I am in to make things better.

Still I can’t get away now... so what do I do in the mean time to keep my sanity and to keep me from jumping head first off the sears tower??? Should I become obsessed with an image.... be it a body image or a celebrity.... that doesn’t sound very fun! I think I’ll pass on that one. Should I become obsessed with cooking? I love food... but I will be the size of a house before you know it. Or should I just write all my thoughts and feelings down here and share them with anyone and everyone who cares enough to read it???

I think that is what I will do... you will hear everything on here... serious thoughts and issues to stupid funny things I hear... you will get my emotions you will get my life.... take it or leave it... but whatever you do be gentle with it... because this is MY LIFE!